[SasoXDei] - Fear

I couldn't sleep.
Again, once again.
I was afraid of something I couldn't even define, specify.
I couldn't stop thinking about it. This sick fear poisoned my brain, almost paralyzing all my limbs. I tried to breathe slowly, calmly. It didn't work. Completely failed, as if someone was chasing me.
I put my hand to my forehead to check my temperature. I was feverish. Or my hand was just really cold. For a moment I wondered, what's worse.
What would I do with myself? Should I wake up, take a hike? It was too dark.

So childish. Fear of the unknown.
Should I be afraid or not?

This darkness scares me.

Who will keep me safe, who will watch over me…?
I needed that. More than you could imagine.

I wrapped myself tightly in a blanket, watching a random spider scuttle across the ceiling with only partial interest.
I sighed quietly and closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would come soon. He was in no hurry.
Suddenly I felt the movement to my left side, and then something blocked my window, blocking out the artificial light from the street lamp outside.

I reopened my eyes. He hovered over me, looking into my face, as if he saw in me something amazing, something I've never been able to discover myself. Our eyes met.
'You can't sleep again?' He asked quietly.
I turned my eyes, covering a blush barely visible in the dimness. Yes, it was damn shameful. I shook my head slightly.
I was so small, so weak.
How couldn't you notice this?
Without any effort you could trample me, crush me, and scatter me to the winds.
'Deidara…' He took my chin with his hand and forced me to look into his eyes.

His eyes. Only his. Perfect, unique, wonderful. So warm.
I loved them and simultaneously I hated to look at them. I was scared. Again.

'Why are you afraid? I'm here. All the time' He was whispering to my ear, stroking my cheek with his fingers, as if wanted to lull me to sleep.

His voice. Only his. Deep, always sounding a little bored, causing shivers in all my body.
I didn't want that sound to cease. Never.

'Talk to me, Sasori.' I asked him almost inaudibly. 'Say…anything…'
He gently kissed my lips, starting to caress my ears with that beautiful timbre.

He was talking. Only to me. For me this voice was resounding in silence.
He was saying that he loved me. That I'm everything to him. That he doesn't want me to be afraid. That he will always be with me.
For all eternity.

Already I wasn't as afraid as before.

I could float above the world, enjoy the beauty of nature and people.
No one could hurt me.
Nobody.

'Are you talking like that because you want me to sleep?' I asked. In my mind a hideous vision of a predator was born. Tempting, reassuring his victim just before it's inevitable death. Corpses sucked to the ground, abandoned somewhere in the corner, covered with their blood and dust adhering to them.

I didn't want it to end this way.
I was afraid. Very afraid.

He lifted his head and looked at me. In his chocolate iris reflected the sadness. I didn't like it, when he looked at me that way. I felt like a culprit, like the worst criminal in the world. He leaned his forehead on mine and whispered,
'I'm talking like that, because I believe in it. I love you, do you understand?'

I understood. All too well.
I wanted him to be with me until the end. His eyes, his voice. His touch. Warm of his skin and scent. All of him. Piece by piece, cell by cell.

I was looking at him in the silence. I was afraid again. Afraid to speak up.
'Why you don't say anything?' His voice was getting quieter, as if it was expiring with each word.
'Kiss me.' I whispered, slowly lifting my hand and gently touching his smooth face with my fingertips.

He was ideal. So simple. He accepted me.
He loved me.
And I loved him.

I felt his lips on mine. I gave myself to him completely. He was kissing me slowly, deep, gently. With the highest sensitivity. He was still stroking my cheek. I loved this touch.
He pulled away slightly and looked at me.
'Sasori,' I spoke up. 'Have you…ever kissed anyone else…in this way?'
I had to know. I felt that it was uncommonly important.
'No, never, baby. Only you.' He answered. 'Is something wrong?'
'No, nothing. That's enough for me. I think I can sleep now.'

It was enough.
That kiss was reserved only for me. My treasure. The consciousness of being the one, unique.
His and only his.
I was no longer afraid.